Just hanging out

My son called me to join him in the hammock, so I did. As we stared up at the sky, he said, "Look at all the clouds."

There weren't any clouds to be seen.I pointed out that weren't any clouds and said that the sky was such a beautiful blue.

He answered back "Look at all the clouds."

He changed the conversation a little bit. "The sun is really bright."

The sun was hidden behind the garage, so it wasn't very bright at all.  I pointed this out to him.

He replied, "The sun is really bright."

For the next few minutes we just lay together in the hammock, staring at all the non-existent clouds, and shades our eyes from the sun that wasn't very bright. Then, unable to lie still any longer than any other six year old, my son got up and tore off across the back yard.

Pencil Crayons

I've noticed for some time now that my son likes to carry around a couple of handfuls of pencil crayons. It seemed a bit odd at first, but I didn't really think much about it. He's almost always had his hands filled with some object or other. It seems to fill a need for him.

The other day, at supper, he once again had crayons. All of a sudden he let out a cry, which startled my wife and I. We both looked to our son to see what was wrong. At that point he made a crashing noise and all the pencil crayons were pushed to the table. He asked the crayons, "Are you okay? Are you okay?"

At that point a light went on in my wife's and my heads. To our son these pencils were people. He was telling stories. They seemed to be played out mainly in his head, but they seem to be elaborate and vibrant.

In the following weeks we've had confirmation of this as we see him sway the pencils in a dance or a march. Snippets of dialog pop out including a few Veggie Tale references.

I'm usually not sure exactly what the story is, but I'd love to know. When he can talk clearly I bet he'll have interesting tales to tell.

Oops

So we had our son in church today. He was quite quiet and respectful. really on his best behavior.

His mom went up to the front for something. As she returned, I let our son go, thinking he'd meet his mom in the aisle a few feet from our pew. Oops.

He decided to head in the other direction towards the lobby. He'd made it about 20 feet before I caught up with him and brought him back. His mom immediately figured out that maybe our fidgety son needed a movement break, and she took him to our nearly sound-proof lobby where he could run in peace for a couple of minutes.

With the benefit of hindsight, her solution seems obvious. Happily our son has at least one smart parent.

The Rewards are Great

When you're a dad there are times you give up what you want to do because the family needs you. Sometimes you want to complain about that, and I know at least a few folks who will complain. Loudly.

Yet last week I came home early because I was sick. I quickly went to bed and slept for several hours. By the time I got up, my in-laws were there and my wife and both kids had come home.

As I got up and started to walk around and gather my wits, one person came upstairs. My daughter gave me a big hug, and then went downstairs again.

She had come upstairs just to give me a hello hug. I'll tell, while there's lots of things you give up for the sake of your family, hugs like that sure make it worthwhile.

This is what my day was like

As my son was falling asleep he blurted out, "the Biscuit of Doug." This rather puzzling phrase is actually a quote from a Veggie Tales video, as were the next four or five things he said.

Psychologists call blurting out random, seemingly meaningless phrases echolalia and behavioral psychologists discourage it. 

I don't agree with them. What I learned from those few phrases was what my son had on his mind and what he watched on TV today. 

While it's not a perfect way to communicate, right now it's one of the tools he's got to share what's on his mind. He'll pick up more sophisticated tools later, but right now this is what he's got.

Unlike some psychologists I've encountered, I won't deny him that tool. It wouldn't be right. 

I'm back!

My wife and I came back from shopping. My son eagerly ran up to us and announced, "I'm back!"

He still hasn't mastered pronouns yet.

Easter Concert

So it was time for the annual Easter concert tonight. My kindergarten son stood on the risers, watching the teachers and making some high pitched noises that my wife and I could hear at our seats 30 feet away. He seemed happy and I grinned.

Noticing my amusement, my wife asked, somewhat amused herself, "Are you proud?"

Yes, yes, I am. My son didn't sing but he sat through a concert that seemed very long to him, without protest. He seemed to enjoy himself, and his classmates actively took care of him making sure he stood and sat at the right times.  He had fun, and his friends watch out for him. He's learning to work with a group in a social setting. 

If that isn't a reason to be proud, I don't know what is.

The voice as she imagines it

When my daughter reads her story Bible she tries to make the characters' voices sound different. It's always interesting that the voice of God is deep and kind of gruff. In some way I think she's trying to capture the awesomeness of God. He's not merely a small kid-sized voice but someone big and mighty. It's interesting to get this small glimpse of what's going on in my daughter's head.

Mwa

I was putting my son to bed last night. He's usually pretty quiet, doesn't say much at bed time except for "give a hug."

When I thought he was almost asleep I whispered "I love you." He turned to me and said "mwa" which is the sound you make when you kiss someone. 

He loves me, too.

It's not a chore

Yesterday was Autism Awareness Day. In my town there were two main events. One was a flag raising at city hall, and the other a march at the Legislature.

Speeches were given. At one event they talked about the possibility within autistic kids and how much they're capable of; at the other they seemed to focus on how difficult it is to parent a child with autism, how lonely, how isolating.

I guess both are true. Kids of all sorts have amazing potential and that's exciting. However, parenting kids of all sorts is often stressful. It can be difficult. That comes with the job. 

As a dad of autistic kids I try not to complain about the problems I have. All parents have problems. What I try to tell people about are all the cool things my kids do that will encorage people to see my kids as similar to theirs.

My daughter loves chapter books and is currently trying to read the entire Bible. (Okay, that may not be so typical, but I like to brag about my kids.) My son, given half a chance, will climb the furniture up to the ceiling. He's energetic and a little reckless but that's pretty typical for most boys.

Most of all, I know my kids love me though others may not always see the signs. That takes those difficult moments and carries me through them. Parenting my kids is not a chore or a burden, it's a blessing.

We can't focus on the difficulties we face but on the blessings God gives us iin the kids we have. When we do that, somehow God gets us through it all.